A newborn looks into it's mothers eyes while nursing. Deeply, open, lovingly and completely trusting. It's Heart is in the most Vulnerable state and the most Open then it will ever be again.

The phone rings. The mother doesn't want to take the call because she is enjoying nursing and loving her baby. She takes it because its the insurance company, she has been waiting for this return call. She feels stress as she discusses the situation about what she thought was covered they now say is not covered. She tenses up as images flash through her mind of how this will change there lives; she doesn't want to go back to work, she wants to be with the baby. What does the baby feel as it's nursing now? The baby develops it's first shell. Not too thick, but it's one of many. Next time the phone rings the baby is aware, and tenses up just a little.

Day after day, the shells keep coming in. Some big, some little some thick some paper thin.

One day while the mother is happily folding laundry the baby slips off the sofa, suddenly the baby's is aware its physical body could be hurt, it's startled and cries out, though it is not hurt. The mother rushes to the baby, picks the baby up, she knows it is ok, she soothes it as she looks deeply into it's eyes with love and acceptance for it's cry, and smiles at the baby, the baby feels safe to express it's emotion and it was not hurt. It does not develop a shell.

With each shell a little resistance. Sometimes the shells are broken back down. The baby hears the phone ring. It tenses. The baby hears the mother laugh and get excited. The mother has several minutes on the phone in this way laughing and happy. When she gets off the phone she comes and picks up the baby, and dances around with it laughing. The baby releases the shell from before! But now it listens and is aware when the phone rings.

The heart thing... can something new be added or do we have to treck the old paths and unbury the vines, cutting them away. Can we plant flowers up the vines?

I like having flowers growing up my vines. The vines can be cut away, but the roots remain, able again to be activated. I
It's rare, the feeling to be completely safe to as to be completely vulnerable ...so that real LOVE can be shared.
There is so little love left in the world. Do we have to hold it back.

The people of this planet are covered with shells. When they get thick enough they cause a war. Do we have to trace back and drag up the reasons the war started? and before that, and before that and before that?

Do we need to ring the phone again and again for the adult until she accepts the feeling begun as a newborn. I feel we can start where we are and find better feelings from there. If we can find the feeling. What if it has become numb...

Unconditional love is becoming so rare. When I say I love and accept someone it's because I can't NOT love them because there is understanding. I don't need to trace back all of the traumas to understand why they act the way they do.

Yes it seems sick sometimes, thats another way of looking at it, the whole world does seem sick.

Yesterday I journeyed through some of my traumas, looking to find the cause for the heart line that goes numb when I sleep. So I imagined being as vulnerable as the baby.

And then how I would feel, and then to deal with that horrible shock I imagined --what would the perfect most loving human response be instead. In one memory I saw myself running up the road escaping with my cat (which was my first impulse) my face streaming with tears right. A nice grandpa man see me crying and pulls over and looks me in the eyes lovingly as I tell him in sobs, my siblings are going to kill it. He hugs me and understands and tells me everything is going to be ok and comes to the house with me. Now I'm scared not for the cat but for me. If he shames them and then I'll be the in line for dead. So I imagine that he takes each child alone and listens to their reasons for wanting to kill my cat, and accepts them unconditionally and comforts them (some hate the cat, some love the chickens it killed, some are hung up on rights and wrongs) he unconditionally listens with total love and acceptance to each child as they feel safe to share and cry themselves as he tells each one it will be ok. The oldest sister says she thinks her mysteriously missing cat was killed by Dad. My Dads childhood pet maggpie was killed by a neighbors cat...he's hated cats ever since.

I guess it makes it easier, when we can trace it, and see the vines, and cut them back ecspecially when we are numb. But if we can, start where we are it's beautiful.

Imagine every child being allowed to express all and every feeling. When they cry, when they complain, when they hurt, when they are scared, when they are angry, vengeful, in rage..., hopeless. Imagine adults gazing softly into their eyes like the newborn, comforting and accepting them in all of their feelings unconditionally.

IT CAN BE A MORE BEAUTIFUL WORLD